Oh hey there.

Long time no write. I have had my fingers in way too many pies, just like Toca Rivera. Even if I'm not actually busy at any given moment, my brain is occupied to the Nth degree.

I'm moving to New York in the near future. I have been waiting for this my whole life. My career and personal goals have undergone so many changes in recent times. There was a time in the past couple of months that I was convinced I would work for a non-profit in the DC area. I applied for jobs in DC and tried to find a great apartment, all the while stifling my dreams to move to NYC. I decided fairly recently that it was too important to push to the back of my mind. Sometimes you have to be reckless and crazy to achieve your dreams. I certainly have been both. Constant trips back and forth between DC and NYC have resulted in my extreme exhaustion. But the light at the end of the (Lincoln) tunnel is keeping me going. I worked a seven hour promotional gig in Times Square yesterday. I found out about that gig last Saturday. I don't even know how that managed to happen. All I know is that I'm loving every moment of trying to find my spot in the city. Even though I applied for a bajillion office jobs in NYC, actually spending time there reminds me of how much I want to avoid that scene. I don't want to be chained to a desk for forty hours a week, and that was something I let myself forget. It's so much easier to not pursue your dreams because you can never really fail. I need to work in the theatre. I need to pursue acting. I need to live in NYC. It's that simple.

My first few months in NYC are going to be rough, but I am confident that it'll all work out for the best. After all, fate has to play some sort of part, right? If a series of unsuccessful attempts at creating a life for myself in DC led me to this point, maybe everything truly happens for a reason. I'm starting to believe that things work out how they should.

Sometimes It's Necessary to Go a Long Distance Out of the Way in Order to Come Back a Short Distance Correctly.

I used to hate that quote from "Zoo Story." Actually, that's not true. I was afraid of it. Whenever I would explain my ambitious plan of moving to New York immediately following graduation, people explained that waiting a bit and being practical was probably the best way to go. I would always immediately say something along the lines of "I'm doing it. I have to be in New York." The message that the Albee quote is sending is that not every path has to go directly to where you want to end up. I hated the idea of not doing exactly what I had planned for so long. I knew what I was going to do and I had to do it immediately.

Since then, however, that quote has sort of become my mantra. For financial reasons, I have remained in DC. I've always enjoyed DC, but I never thought that it possessed whatever that thing is that New York has. That thing that causes New York composers and filmmakers to create works solely about their beloved city. Is there a song that goes "DC, DC, a hell of a town!" No. But there is something amazing about DC. It's pretty frequently that I find some new area in DC that I love. I guess I never really gave it a chance until I had to. The reason that the Albee quote rings so true right now is that I haven't gotten to the place I've always dreamed I would be. I'm still living at home and working in DC. But I'm making money and taking acting and singing lessons, things that will serve me well whenever I choose to move to New York. The rational part of my brain tells me time and time again that I should wait until I'm fully ready to move. Wait until I've secured a job or an apartment or a performance opportunity.

I honestly have no clue when the move will happen. And I'm getting depressed now thinking about the reality that it may never happen...or at least not for a while. But because I love New York so much, and because I've always planned on being there, I know it has to happen. Maybe not this year, maybe not next year. Maybe not even by the time I'm 25. But I'll get there some how. I owe it to myself.

Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.

Insert Witty Title Here

This is going to be a fairly angst-ridden blog post, so please be prepared.

Senior year of college is such a confusing time. There are so many paths one can take. There's the dilemma of whether or not having a good time outweighs the importance of getting all your work done in a timely fashion. Half of me wants to go crazy and have the most fun ever, and the other half of me wants to buckle down and be serious. I guess that's what makes this year such a critical year. Most of college is fairly aimless and low stakes. For me, anyway. Yes, I know, I'm a theatre major. But that doesn't mean I haven't been given my fair share of work. Thus far, my college career has felt like something I've floated through. I haven't had major responsibilities because my parents are still supporting me. I've had assignments or tasks that I've had to get done, but I've some how made it this far without really giving my all. And that goes for essentially every arena of my life. I've never given 100% to my school work, and I've never given 100% to my personal life. I've turned down countless social opportunities (okay, maybe I'm exaggerating) due to my constant exhaustion and low motivation level. Most college students go out multiple times a week - how they afford it, I'll never know. This year, for me anyway, has also been confusing in terms of what I want. Do I want to be single or attached? Carefree or committed? I view things as very black and white. Another question: am I ready for ANY of this? For my future? For another person to enter my life? Holy crap, this is confusing.

This year is such a turning point because I feel like it's somewhere in between adolescence and adulthood. While in college, it's all about meeting people and downing cheap beer after cheap beer. If only life continued like that forever. This year was the first time I've ever really thought about what's next. Now it's all I think about. I'm not a fan of this new interest in my future. It scares the bejebus (I googled that spelling...I have no clue if it's correct : / ) out of me. To top it all off, I've never been very good at transitions. I act like I'm still on the last step but feel like I want to move on. Or I act like I've matured and am ready for adulthood but secretly just want to be reckless. I'm never very constant in what I want, think or do.

What's going on with my brain?? Senior year is the pits.

The Future is Uncertain.

Oh hey! I haven't seen you in a while. I'm much more focused on my food blog (excluding these past few weeks...winter break is not the time for productivity), but this is the place for all non-food things.

The future is freaking me out to no end. My ultimate goal is moving to New York, but that's 100% contingent on whether or not I'm able to get a job. I'm not even sure what kind of job I want! The ideal situation for me would be a ridiculously affordable apartment downtown, a job with work that would not leave the office and acting classes at some fabulous studio at night. I don't think I'm crazy for thinking this is a possibility. If I'm able to secure a job that pays somewhere in the $30,000/year vicinity, that gives me $2500/month. If the apartment is somewhere between $700 and $1000/month, that gives me lots of extra money for utilities and other necessities. I have no doubt in my mind that I will have a very tight money situation regardless of the great deals I find, but the idea of actually living in the city of my dreams keeps me going. Because it's becoming a buyers' market (due that whole recession thing), I am fairly confident that I'll find an apartment. The main issue is finding an actually job. That's what really frightens me. I'm constantly scouring Craig's List for job and apartment listings and have found things that would definitely work for me, but none of this is applicable until graduation. That is bad news bears. I guess I just gotta have faith.

I love you, New York.

Oh Hey!

Oh my goodigoodigoodness. I have been totally absent from this blog for over a month.

I have a good reason, though.

Because of a conversation with the Arts editor for my school's newspaper, I have started a blog chronicling my attempts at being domestic (IE, learning to cook). Here it is.

Other than the new activities I have created for myself, I'm not doing too much. I am, however, continuing to feel less stressed than usual. I guess it really is all about mind over matter - or whatever the phrase is.

On another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROOMMATE!

Relax - Take It Easy.

I don't think it's any surprise to any of my readers (reader, really) that I have severe anxiety. My brain likes to grab at anything that even remotely resembles an issue and hang onto it for as long as possible. Even if nothing is actually wrong, my brain will go over the past few hours, days, weeks and find something to be anxious about. I feel anxious before I can even find something to be anxious about. It's like the age old question: Which came first, the anxiety or the conflict?

Recently, I've been feeling slightly more calm (KNOCK ON WOOD). It's exhilarating! Go through my posts and I challenge you to find ONE that states something such as this. This is good news!

It's a little bothersome that it took me so long to feel at peace. However, better late than never.

I've finally come to realize that a) things aren't that serious, b) there's no point in freaking out unless there is an actual reason to, and c) life's too short to worry all the time.

Don't worry, be happy.

SENIIIOOOORRRSSSS.

Here we go again. Senior year.

While being a senior in college is certainly different from being a senior in high school, I still can't help but take a trip down memory lane.

I feel that same restless feeling that I felt when I was in high school - Basically, "WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL HERE??"

One monumental difference is that the actual end of schooling might be in sight. After senior year of high school, the next step was, without question, college. While high school was over, school itself was not. After college, the future is uncertain. It's equal parts exciting and ridiculously intimidating. I'd like to say I'm going straight to grad school, but as I've come to learn in recent weeks, my ideal after college plans might be slightly too grandiose. Grad school + New York City apartment + pursuing an acting career = breaking the bank. So what's a girl to do?

My number one desire for post college life is living in New York. I hope more than anything that my other wishes and dreams will have a chance to come into fruition, but until then, looking forward to moving to the city of my dreams is enough for me.

Let's just hope senioritis doesn't get the best of me.

Sarah Does Florence, Part 2

Buon Giorno, ragazzi!

I am currently in an internet cafe on Via Ghibellina, right near my school. This particular internet cafe (the first one I have gone to in Florence) smells like B.O. Non mi piace. After I leave here, I have to take cash out to pay for my accomodations. Unfortunately, European ATMs (Bancomat) seem to hate my card. They protest every time I attempt to take cash out. Non va bene.

This previous weekend was full of activity. On Friday, the big excursion was going to a night club near the Firenze Santa Maria Novella train station. It was extremely not fun. They claimed the first drink was free but they did not inform us that there was a cover charge. So I ended up paying £23 for two drinks. And it took forever getting there. And then we got separated and one of my roommates was forced to take a taxi alone while the other ended up passing out in the bathroom and spending the night at the house of one of the bouncers. Strano.

On Saturday, some of my roommates and I went to Siena, which was bellissima. Lots of fabulous shops and cobble stone streets. On Sunday, we went to Cinque Terre. TOO MUCH WALKING. But ridiculously beautiful.

I am sad that my time here will be so short.

To be continued...

Sarah Does Florence, Part 1

I'm in Italy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is so amazing here. Molto bellissimo. Mi piace molto.

I take four hours of Italian a day, which hurts my brain. But I am learning it "piano a piano" (slowly). The architecture is incredible. Almost every night I've been here (three so far) I have made a point of walking into "il centro" and trying out the local Italian fare (well, drinks).

I'm using the computer of mia amica rusa, so I can't write much. I will be back soon with more updates!

To be continued...

When In Rome...

Well, Florence, really. But I think this title is appropriate enough.

On Saturday, I will fly into Pisa, Italy. I will take a forty five minute taxi/bus/car service to Florence, where I will spend the next three weeks learning the Italian language. I haven't really felt excited until now, when it's only a few days away. I guess it just hadn't sunk in. But now, oh man, I am excited beyond words.

What I most look forward to is walking through the streets and passing by incredible architecture and local dives that serve Napolitan pizza and Peronis. I've always imagined that Italy and I will click really well. Italy's probably my future husband.

If any of my loyal readers (Hi, Becky!) would like to follow my Italian journey, stay tuned for the multi-segment saga I have tentatively named Sarah Does Florence (see what I did there?).

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight.

Washington, DC.

It had never really been a place that I have had any particular connection to other than its proximity to where I live. Now that I am in my second summer of interning in our nation's capital, I think I'm starting to really love it. I think a lot of this has to do with being twenty one. I have started to appreciate restaurants in a way that I never have before.

When I was younger, the only items I would ever order at a restaurant were hot dogs or macaroni. And if you ask any of my friends, they will tell you that I'm known to have a pretty bland taste in food. I don't know what changed - maybe I just matured and am no longer a princess who wants everything to be exactly what she wants (okay, maybe I'm still kind of like that). All I know is that I LOVE going to new restaurants and trying new combinations of tastes and fruity, fun cocktails. And although I'm 100% confident I am moving to Manhattan in the next couple of years, the wait won't be as bad as I thought it would be.

DC has some of the best new restaurants. Unfortunately, a lot of this is due to gentrification. However, going out to DC is my favorite thing to do right now. Whether I'm going out for froyo, a burger, cocktail, or bucket of tots, I pretty much always have a good time. Let's not forget about Downtown Silver Spring. DTSS is like DC's younger, slightly less attractive sister. You can find me there several days a week.

Restaurants/Bars That I Love In The DC Metropolitan Area (In no particular order)

1. Tonic at Quigley's Pharmacy (Foggy Bottom) - this old pharmacy turned restaurant serves amazing burgers, pizza, cocktails, and most importantly, tots.
2. Sticky Rice (Northeast) - this new fusion-y restaurant brings the yuppies into Northeast. They make up for it with their own take on tots (variation on sauce) and fabulous sushi options, like ones that include goat cheese (yum).
3. Ceviche (Silver Spring) - delicious empanada trios, jumbo garlic shrimp, and REALLY good cocktails.
4. Austin Grill (Silver Spring) - can you really go wrong with Tex-Mex and Texas-style margaritas for $11? Hint: the answer is NO.
5. McGinty's (Silver Spring) - though not nearly as funky in its aesthetics as the rest, this is the place to go if you want sweet potato fries (and honestly...who wouldn't?), good times, or a Blue Motorcycle. Caution: Blue Motorcycles are lethal.
6. Jaleo (Bethesda, Gallery Place) - tapas. 'Nuff said.
7. Franklin's (Hyattsville) - another funky one with good food. Also, they brew their own beer!

Point is, these places, and DC's inherent awesomeness, make DC a place that I will surely miss when I move to New York. So let's go grab some yummy food, drink and be merry!

Money Makes The World Go Around.

Long time no blog. I've been pretty busy since the end of school. First came exams, which weren't too bad. I had around two weeks of absolutely no obligation, then began WORK. I have come to enjoy coming to work (excluding waking up at 7:30 am, mind you). I like helping union members who call in with problems - makes me feel important. :-)

In the beginning of August, I am flying into Italy for a three week language course. I have this expectation that me and Italy will click. I got this from reading Eat, Pray, Love, of course.

Gotta get back to work!

When I Grow Up.

I wish I could know for sure that I will be financially secure when I'm older. As much as I'd love to believe that I will be able to make a living just acting, this is probably not likely. Such is life. The more enjoyable a job is, the less it will pay. BAH.

The most immediate dilemma with my future is what to do after I graduate. The options that I've come up with are either doing some sort of acting conservatory or graduate program, or get my Master's in something that will actually get me money. OR I could possibly do a Master's degree in something other than theatre AND take classes at an acting studio. That probably makes the most sense. Le sigh.

There are several careers that I will accept as my fallback. I'm using the term fallback loosely - I am almost 100% sure that I will pursue one of these careers regardless of what happens with acting. I hope so, at least. I must stay motivated!

The only legitimate careers I can see myself having are either something in the psychology world or in publishing. For some reason I love reading, writing, editing, etc. Methinks this is because I have such a hard time formulating coherent sentences when I am speaking. I tend to shift direction when I'm speaking halfway through a sentence - this is no bueno. When writing, I can make sure what I'm trying to say is somewhat coherent. But I digress.

Please oh please oh please let me make some money in the future. That'd be fab.

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor.

This week has been full of good idea bears! I have gone to the gym every day this week thus far - I even went twice yesterday! Now this may not be a big deal for the exercise savvy, but for me, it's monumental. The times - they are a changin'.

More importantly - this weekend is the fabulous drunken day that is known as Tigerfest. Because Towson is a huge party school, this is the event Towson students most look forward to. Like on Homecoming, the assumption is that most students will wake up earlier than usual simply to start getting drunk, and will maintain that intoxication for the whole day, and maybe even the whole weekend. Thus, Tigerfest is basically a whole bunch of drunk (mostly underage) people on a field. Towson is trying to cut down on the amount of irresponsible drinking, and, if I'm correct, is limiting the Beer Garden to two beers per person. That is bad idea bears. This just means people will get drunk ahead of time, and cause even more of a ruckus. This is going to be fabulous!

Oh the debauchery that will ensue.

Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee.

Yesterday and today have been good in terms of honing my domesticity. Last night I baked a cake (not from scratch, but isn't that still being domestic?), and today I bought groceries and most miraculously, cleaned my room! My floor is spotless, minus the odd bobby pin or penny. Despite the random bobby pins and pennies, my room is ridiculously better off than it was this morning.

Before my roommate and I went to the grocery store, I began to move things around in my room. This was brought on by my father's delivery of a Pilates chair that I didn't know I was receiving. 'Twas a fabulous surprise. Anyhoo, I tried moving things around to make room for the chair. At the peak of my unsuccessful reorganization, there were three items of furniture along the second longest wall in my room, making my tiny room look even smaller. This, clearly, was not going to do. The roommate told me to relax and deal with it when we returned. I took her advice, and came back with A VENGEANCE (yes, that's not a proper usage, and yes, I had to look up the correct spelling), resulting in a slightly reorganized, much cleaner room.

All in all, today was a good day. I even left out some goodies! Here is an official recap - I was surprised with a Pilates chair, ate Chipotle, got the new Kelly Clarkson CD for free from some radio station that had a spinny wheel in front of Boston Market (they made me win on purpose!), got groceries, cleaned my room, and typed this blog. Actually, I also started writing another stupidlamedorky chick-lit novel. I know, I'm a tool.

Domesticity - I will make you proud!

Let's Get Physical.

Today marks the one month anniversary of my surgery. Which means I can go back to my usual exercise routine! Not to say I am someone who works out all that frequently, but when you are not allowed to do something, it seems all the more desirable. The same goes for certain kinds of foods during Passover, which also happens to end today. Tonight, rather. Pizza is not something I eat every week, but when you are not allowed to eat pizza for a week, it can be tough. We all desire what we can't have. I know that all too well. Le sigh.

ANYWAY, as the date clearly underlines, we are nearing the end of the school year. My last exam is May 18th, which means I have a little over a month left before summer. This is fabulous news. When ever the school year comes to a close, the end can't come soon enough. In the middle of the year, I'm perfectly fine with waiting. When the end is in sight, however, waiting is excruciating. Last year, when I went home during exam week, it was cold. That's depressing. At least stupid April rain seems to be taking a break. Today is sunny and warm, with a cool breeze. Faboo.

I should really pay attention to Anthropology instead of blogging. Alas, this will never happen. :-)

A New World Whispers In The Shadows - Time To Fly, Time To Fly.

I'm back to reading Eat Pray Love. I always start reading it because I remember how much I enjoyed the Italy part, then I get stuck while reading about her experience in India. Not that it's bad or boring, it's just slightly lackluster in comparison to Italy. Anyway, I FINALLY have reached Indonesia, where she is attempting to find balance in her life. Bali sounds like the most amazing place in the history of the world. Minus Italy, of course. This book is so appealing to me because of her successful abandonment of all that previously ailed her emotionally and mentally. If I could stop worrying and over-analyzing I would be much happier in life. Now I'm on one of those five minute kicks where I decide I'm going to start doing yoga and meditating. I would love to have a higher quality of life. Meaning healthy eating, exercising, and keeping my mind and heart healthy and happy. That would be fab. I think then I would be truly happy.

Extenuating Circumstances.

Here is the play-by-play of the last week of my horrid, horrid life:
Monday: Arrive in California and head to my mother's office. Then proceed to have a delicious dinner at my second favorite burger joint. While trying to go to sleep, I have an excruciating stomach ache. Off to the emergency room.
Tuesday: Am diagnosed with gall stones. Appointment with surgeon is set for next day.
Wednesday: Appointment with surgeon. Gall bladder removal is necessary sooner rather than later. Opening on Thursday. Must be fate.
Thursday: Go in for surgery. Ouch.
Friday - Monday: Lie on couch and attempt to walk periodically.
Tuesday: Lie on couch, then go get hair cut. Silver lining!
Wednesday: Checkup with surgeon. Everything looks good. I discover I cannot do anything physical for another three weeks or so. I have a movement class. Oh god.
Thursday: Fly home. Late at night, find out I missed exam.

I am screwed.

Twenty-one Going On Thirty-five.

Sometimes I think I am a woman in her thirties trapped in a twenty-one year old's body. This is an interesting idea because I absolutely love being young. Every year when I celebrate my birthday, I feel monumentally older than the year before. This leads me to believe that I want to cherish my younger years. However, I really do feel like a thirty something. It's strange to me.

I am certainly immature in many situations, but I find that I feel a lot older than many of the people around me. Instead of going to frat parties, I'd rather stay at home with a glass of wine and a book or go out to a nice restaurant and order some drinks. What's wrong with me?? I'm an anomale!

I also secretly want to be in a serious relationship - one that's on its way to marriage. Oh my.

I'm too young to be thinking this way.

If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake.

There's a part of me that is quite domestic. I have not honed this aspect of myself, but I know it's there. I find myself drifting towards cookbooks at Barnes and Noble. I look for foodie blogs. I constantly wish I had more ingredients so I could create something some what interesting. I am quite possibly a culinary genius underneath all my only-makes-bologna-and-cheese-sandwiches exterior.

I would really like to delve into cooking. I have a most likely outdated feeling that I will never get married if I can't cook. The same thing goes for football, but I don't think I'll ever understand any sort of sport. Maybe pretending is all that is necessary?

What is hard is finding out where to start developing my cooking prowess. Should I buy a bunch of ingredients and teach myself how to cook the basics? Or should I find a specific recipe and work from there?

Over Winter Break, some friends and I prepared a dinner complete with my Mommy's famous macaroni casserole, salad, and Martinelli's. It was a wonderful feeling. I felt so grown up! I like feeling grown up. This is why I drink coffee and walk briskly like I have somewhere important to be. Which I usually don't.